


One step, then another step

by thequietrecluse



Series: Technicolor Electricity [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, At least I think it's light angst, Christmas and New Year's, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Birthday Joshua, Holidays, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, My perception of angst may be a bit off, Polyamory, Sorry this fic isn't really focused on you, Soulmates, You're still my favorite though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 22:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13199847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequietrecluse/pseuds/thequietrecluse
Summary: On a cold December night, Jeonghan learns to rely on his soulmates a little more.*Companion piece to "Red, White, and Peach." You could probably read this alone, but everything makes more sense if you read the original fic.*





	One step, then another step

**Author's Note:**

> You have no idea how much of a struggle it was to write a decent fic for you guys for the holidays.
> 
> I initially wanted to write the Verkwan story of how Verkwan from "Red, White and Peach" met, but that was NOT going well, so I had to put it aside for now. I really wanted to write a story about Jihancheol in the RWAP universe, and this story idea just came to me! It turned out to be much longer than I expected.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Happy Birthday Joshua (even though this is more Jeonghan-centric, sorry)

_But right now it’s alright to open your eyes_

_Because like any movie, like any dialogue_

_The whole world is blue under the moonlight_

 

It’s a rather cold December night, judging by the heavy frost that obscures the windows, blocking any view of the outside world and creating a little bubble around the apartment. Jeonghan’s in the kitchen, making three very different cups of coffee for three very different people who happen to complete each other. Meanwhile, in the living room/bedroom/it’s a studio what do you expect, there’s a heated argument taking place between the two of those three very different people and he’s making no effort to stop the argument or input his own opinions on this oh-so-serious topic.

Jeonghan hadn’t been able to afford going home, and felt that it would be better for him to prepare for the next semester if he stayed at school. His two soulmates had agreed reluctantly, but on the condition that they came back early to celebrate New Year’s with him: After all, one of their birthdays was at the end of the month, and his birthday wish was to spend it with his newly found soulmates before ringing in the new year.

And so, on the evening of the 30th, Jeonghan picks up his two soulmates and takes them back to his apartment, where they celebrate their soulmate’s birthday with fried chicken and a disproportionately large birthday cake that they manage to finish, and they’re winding down their evening by having coffee while watching a movie.

Well, that _is_ the plan, should his two boyfriends settle on a movie.

“I still think we should watch it.”

“Why do you want to watch a Christmas movie _after_ Christmas? Isn’t the point of Christmas movies to get you in the Christmas mood _for_ Christmas? What’s the point of watching it now?”

“Because I missed Christmas?”

“Christmas was five days ago, you can’t be in withdrawal!”

“First off, all the stations stop playing Christmas music _one_ day after Christmas, all of a sudden, like we’re all addicted to Christmas music and we need to quit cold turkey, but it’s also like the radio stations hate Christmas music and can’t wait to get rid of it as soon as Christmas ends. Secondly, I meant to say that I missed Christmas _with you two._ I’ve watched all the movies with my family. I want to watch the movies with you and Hannie.”

Jeonghan can almost _hear_ Seungcheol melting, so he finally decides to come into the room, carrying the three mugs on a tray. “Coffee, anyone?”

Seungcheol and Joshua glance up, startled, as if they’d forgotten Jeonghan was there. He wasn’t hurt by it: that wasn’t the case, and he knew it. The way the three of them fit together, it was like they were made for each other. Any time one of them couldn’t make a date, the other two would feel a sense of emptiness, even if they enjoyed the date themselves: the bitterness of not being able to share every moment with their missing piece in real time tempered the sweetness of being able to spend time with each other. No, they hadn’t forgotten him: they had just thought he wasn’t listening.

“Is this one mine?” Seungcheol asks, even as his hands reach for the mug with the darkest coffee.

“Yup,” Joshua answers for Jeonghan as he reaches for the one with the lightest coffee.

He rolls his eyes as he picks up his mug and sits in between his two boyfriends. “So, what Christmas movie are we watching?”

Seungcheol groans in defeat as Joshua cheers and answers Jeonghan. “ _The Polar Express._ It’s my favorite Christmas movie, and I want to watch it with you.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan shrugs, ignoring Seungcheol’s answering groan at Jeonghan’s decision to side with Joshua. “I like the movie, even though their faces are kinda...”

“Weird? Yeah, that’s my only complaint, the animation does make certain parts of it creepy, but the story’s amazing! Also, the soundtrack is spot-on,” Joshua replies as he sets up the movie. As he’s doing that, Seungcheol’s throwing one of Jeonghan’s blankets over the three of them.

As the movie starts, Jeonghan feels Seungcheol throw an arm around him, as Joshua settles his head on his shoulder. On his lap, he feels Joshua and Seungcheol’s interlocked hands resting on his thigh. He sighs blissfully as he leans into the two’s warmth and immerses himself in the movie.

  


Jeonghan awakens at the end of the movie. The credits are rolling, and above the background noise of the movie, he can hear Joshua’s weirdly loud snores over Seungcheol’s soft mumbling. Cocooned in the middle, he almost doesn’t want to get up, but he has to turn the TV off and wake the other two so that they can go home. As much as he’d like them to stay, his apartment was embarrassingly too small for one person, let alone three. He couldn’t possibly let them stay over, not now. It wouldn’t be comfortable for them in the long run.

Slowly easing himself out of his cozy spot, Jeonghan grabs the remote and turns the TV off. He then picks up the forgotten coffee mugs and places them in the kitchen sink for him to watch later.

Now the hard part: waking up his two boyfriends. Joshua could be roused pretty easily, but had to be persuaded to stay awake. Seungcheol, on the other hand, slept like the dead and had to almost be slapped awake, but once he was awake, he couldn’t go back to sleep.

Deciding that it would be easier for Seungcheol and him to tag team Joshua awake, Jeonghan plops himself down on Seungcheol’s lap and grabs his shoulders, shaking him violently. “Seungcheol-ah! Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP!”  He said, progressively getting louder. Beside him, Joshua started, covering his ears with his hands to block out the noise and turning away from the two. “Joshua-ya, come help me wake Cheol.”

“Ah, why?” He groans, still facing away from Jeonghan.

“Because you two need to go home and sleep in your own beds, there’s not enough room here for all three of us to sleep comfortably,” Jeonghan replies, continuously shaking Seungcheol’s shoulders.

“Why?” Joshua whines, high pitched and muffled by shoving his face into the futon. “I’m comfortable, Seungcheol’s comfortable, you can be comfortable too!”

“Wha’s going on?” Seungcheol’s sleep addled voice interrupts, letting the two of them know that he was conscious.

“You guys need to go home, there’s no room for you to sleep here. Your back will hurt in the morning,” he informs the older.

“So?” Seungcheol asks, sitting up and giving Jeonghan a bleary eyed look. “Come here, Hannie, I want to cuddle.”

“You should at least change into something comfortable,” he protests weakly. “Both of you are wearing jeans.”

Unceremoniously, Seungcheol stands, unbuttons his jeans, and shoves them to the ground, stepping out of them and laying back down on the futon that Joshua has somehow lowered so that it’s a bed (when had he done that?) in his boxers, opening his arms out in a silent gesture for Jeonghan to join him.

Joshua clears his throat shyly, getting Jeonghan’s attention. “Do you have any pants I can wear, Jeonghannie?”

Knowing he’s been outvoted, Jeonghan goes to the entertainment stand, opening one of the cabinets and retrieving his sleeping clothes, as well as a pair of sweatpants which he throws at Joshua. He goes to the bathroom to get ready for bed and get extra toothbrushes for his two soulmates. When he comes back, he finds the two seemingly going back to sleep. “Yah, wash up and brush your teeth before you go back to bed,” he scolds lightly, nudging the two apart.

The two grumble and share a look before they both roll off the futon and shuffle to the bathroom, nudging each other along. Jeonghan takes that time to properly set up the futon, gathering all his pillows and blankets and laying them on the futon before settling himself under the covers, losing himself in thought.

He has no knowledge of _anything_ anymore. It’s been two months since they all met, and he can’t tell if they’re going too fast or too slow, or if things are getting to be too much for one yet not enough for the other two. They talk from time to time about boundaries, especially after Joshua confessed that he was scared of what was expected in a relationship, in particular the pace of soulmate relationships, but after they established a pace and fell into routine, they stopped having these talks. And now, when the three of them are going to spend a night together--sleeping, mind you--he feels a desperate need to talk. If it had been Seungcheol or Joshua’s apartments, he wouldn’t have felt this sense of anxious fear, but it was _his_ place, his tiny studio apartment that he can’t spend so much time in without feeling claustrophobic, and it was bringing up a part of him he hadn’t shared yet with his soulmates.

“Jeonghan?” He flinches as he comes back to earth to find both Joshua and Seungcheol leaning over him, concerned expressions on their faces. “Are you okay?” Joshua asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he assures them, though they don’t look the slightest bit convinced. “Are you guys all done?”

“Uh huh,” Seungcheol nods as the two slid under the covers on either side of Jeonghan. Despite his reservations about it being a tight fit--especially considering Seungcheol’s not exactly the slimmest person on the planet, what with the muscles and all--they fit easily next to each other, like the last three pieces of a puzzle. “Now tell us the truth.”

Jeonghan’s used to people accepting his lies. He’s been called a conman, a devil in disguise, a swindler, all sorts of devious names, but the truth of the matter is, most people can’t tell when Jeonghan’s lying or not. The fact that these two people, both of whom he’s known for only two months, are close enough to him to tell when he’s lying, is terrifying, to say the least.

But despite all that, he knows his soulmates well enough to know that there would never be any harm in telling them everything about him. It’s just that sometimes, the words get stuck in his mouth. Sometimes he waits for the right moment, even when he’s been ready to tell them for days, maybe even weeks. Sometimes something else takes precedence, like schoolwork or immediate personal problems, such as Seungcheol’s accident or Joshua’s illness. Right now, though, he knows there’s nothing to hold him back.

“Sometimes... I worry that I’ll never be able to support both of you.”

There’s a long silence before either of them say anything. Both of them are looking into Jeonghan’s eyes, as if trying to understand as much as they can before they say anything, in case they say something inappropriate or unhelpful.

Finally, Joshua speaks up. “What do you mean by support? Are you referring to emotional support? Physical support? Financial support?”

“Financial, I guess, though emotional is kinda part of it too,” Jeonghan admits quietly.

The three of them subconsciously shift positions, and Jeonghan ends up with Seungcheol curling around and under him, while Joshua turns onto his side, propping his upper body up with one hand and running his other hand through Jeonghan’s hair. Neither of them say anything, waiting for Jeonghan to elaborate on his own terms.

“I... I’m the oldest in my family. There’s five of us kids, and it’s only my mom taking care of us.” He watches as realization dawns in both of his boyfriends’ eyes. “Mom was always working to provide for us, but sometimes, it wasn’t enough. She was always trying to balance supporting us financially and supporting us emotionally. When I was old enough, I tried to help with both. I took whatever jobs I could to earn money for lunches for my siblings so mom didn’t have too. I took care of them when Mom was too tired to, or was working when they were home. I did everything I could, but it wasn’t always enough. As my siblings got older, they started helping out too, but... they all have dreams and hopes for their future, and Mom’s not exactly young, or healthy, and I need to get through college as fast as I can and get a well paying job and help her and my siblings but also follow my own dreams and mom knows about them and she wants me to focus on that and not my siblings but I can’t help it and I have to maintain my scholarship so that I don’t burden my family and the stress has been too much lately so I couldn’t go home even if I could spare the money to because most of my work money goes to them and I didn’t want to waste it on tickets when they could use the money and--”

“Jeonghannie, it’s okay, calm down, take deep breaths.” Joshua’s cooing softly as he continues stroking his hair in an effort to make him stop rambling and crying (when had he started crying?) while Seungcheol’s stroking his sides and rocking the two of them slowly.

“And seeing you guys on my couch which is also my bed just reminded me that I don’t have anything to take care of you two and I won’t have any for a long time because I want to make sure my family will be okay and Mom doesn’t overwork herself to death and leave four kids who don’t need to be adults just yet but I also want to provide for you so that I can contribute to this relationship and not make it seem like I’m just freeloading or taking advantage of you guys because I’m _not--_ ”

He’s silenced by Seungcheol reaching over to capture his lips in quite possibly the most tender kiss of Jeonghan’s lifetime. It’s not just a nice, effectively calming kiss; he can feel what Seungcheol--and Joshua--are trying to tell him, _have_ been trying to tell him.

 _It’s okay,_ the kiss tells him.

_We will figure this out._

_We don’t think you’re a horrible person._

_We’re happy you told us all of this._

On his other side, he feels Joshua plant reassuring little kisses on his cheeks and down his neck, nibbling softly to remind him that he’s there too, that he understands, and that he agrees with everything Seungcheol is telling him himself.

When they both pull back, Jeonghan finds another emotion he hadn’t picked up on before.

Guilt.

It’s swimming in their eyes, and it’s evident in the fervent way they try to keep him relaxed. He can tell that they wish they would have known earlier, that they could have figured out earlier that Jeonghan was not okay.

Of all the lies Jeonghan can successfully pull off, this is the one that he’s the most ashamed of, the one he regrets the most. He wishes that he could never fool those he loves into thinking he was okay when his world was crumbling around him.

“Hannie,” Joshua says soothingly, returning to running his hand through Jeonghan’s hair, “you don’t need to worry about that alone anymore.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol breathes, cuddling Jeonghan closer to him. Jeonghan normally hates cuddling, but at times like these, tactile comfort is always welcome as a steady reminder of the love his soulmates have for him. “We’re here for you.”

Hearing that brings another wave of tears, but Seungcheol and Joshua are quick enough to kiss them away, one by one. “It’s okay, Jeonghannie,” The two of them take turns consoling him, rubbing his shoulders and stroking his hair while he tries to stop crying. “You okay?”

This time, he can say that he’s actually okay. He nods, smiling reassuringly at his lovers.

“Can we talk about what you just said, then?” Seungcheol, ever the guiding hand in their relationship, asks. Jeonghan nods again, and so he continues. “You’re so strong, Jeonghan.”

He starts, confused by the random compliment.

“We mean it,” Joshua insists. “You dealt with so much, with your mom and your siblings, and the fact that you continue to work hard in college to pursue your dreams but still support your family back home is... beyond admirable. We just wish we could’ve helped sooner.”

“I didn’t think you could help,” Jeonghan admits. To their credit, neither of them look the least bit offended. They understood: they weren’t yet mature enough to admit help, so Jeonghan hadn’t even thought of asking his soulmates for help. Not when their relationship was still so fresh.

“You’d be surprised,” Joshua chuckles. “We’re not on scholarship, but we do have some savings left over from being cheap for four years.”

“Not to mention, Joshua and I graduate in the spring,” Seungcheol reminds them. Jeonghan’s the only one going to graduate school, meaning that there’s a good chance the three of them will have to be separated, if the other two couldn’t get a job nearby. “We can find jobs and help out that way.”

“How? You’ll have to pay your bills and take care of yourself, and it’ll be hard enough on your own,” Jeonghan argues.

“Who said anything about me living on my own?” Seungcheol retorts passively. “If I can find a job here, we can move in together.”

Jeonghan stops for a moment, staring at Seungcheol. He seems resolute in his words, and looking over at Joshua, he can see that he shares that same confidence. “Isn’t that a bit too soon?”

“Not really,” Joshua says. “It’s likely that we could move in together in July or August. That would be seven or eight months of dating, in addition to the fact that we’re soulmates, so it would give us a bit of an advantage in making things work.”

“But that’s still if you can both get jobs nearby,” Jeonghan replies.

Joshua suddenly looks sheepish. “I never told you guys,” he begins hesitantly, averting his eyes. “But I already have a job. In town.”

Both Seungcheol and Jeonghan shoot upright, nearly knocking Joshua off the sofa. “Really?” They both shout.

Shyly, the youngest nods. “At the local high school. I’m going to be their new music teacher because the old one’s retiring.”

“That’s great news!” Jeonghan cheers as he surges forward to hug him, happy for the relevant distraction. “Are you excited?”

“I was,” he confirms, smiling softly down at Jeonghan, making his breath catch, “especially when I realized I could still be around.”

They turn to look at the remaining question mark, Seungcheol, who’s watching the two of them with fondness and affection in his eyes. “It shouldn’t be too hard for me to find a job. My boss at my job right now is looking for an assistant manager. I could go for that job. If not, I’ll find something. Right now, though, my priority is staying with you two, here, until Jeonghan graduates. Then we’ll figure something out then.”

Jeonghan can’t really comprehend how easily his struggles were resolved as soon as he brought them up. His soulmates just made it seem like it was both important and inconsequential at the same time, a dilemma that had a simple solution Jeonghan kept skipping over. “I... I don’t know what to say. Like, I feel like saying ‘I really like you’ isn’t enough, and saying ‘I have really strong feelings for you that aren’t love yet’ is too wordy, but I just _can’t_ find the right words to describe how I feeling about you right now.”

“How about... ‘I adore you,’” Seungcheol suggests.

Almost immediately Jeonghan catches on and his eyes narrow playfully. “Is that play on Adore U, as in the café where the three of us finally met?”

Seungcheol looks away as he hums, “Maybe.”

“You’re a dork,” Joshua rolls his eyes.

“So are you!” Seungcheol retorts.

“We’re all dorks, we all adore each other, let’s go to sleep okay?” Jeonghan asks, his mind finally calming down enough for sleep to finally catch up to him. “Especially because we have to stay up late tomorrow for New Year’s Eve.”

Humming in agreement, the three of them settle back down onto the futon. Jeonghan’s pillowed on Seungcheol’s chest, his arm wrapped tightly around him, rubbing circles into his skin. Next to Jeonghan, Joshua snuggles close, an arm wrapped around Seungcheol and Jeonghan, resting on top of Jeonghan’s hand laying on Seungcheol’s stomach. They probably look like a pile of mismatched limbs on top of an old futon, but Jeonghan’s never felt so comfortable, physically and emotionally. He feels like he can finally be at peace.

 

_Your singing voice,_

_That follows deep into the night_

_Brings the scarlet morning_

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics taken from RM and V's "4 o'clock" because I'm obsessed with Silv3rT3ar's cover of it and I listened to it on repeat while writing it and I found a way to incorporate some motifs into this story.


End file.
